We girls have started a tradition here, of going out for sunday breakfast to a restaurant called double dutch. My favorite thing about it is that the owner told me she always knows that it is sunday when she sees us there.


I am moving up North in a few days so I will post lots of pictures of life here in Arambol. These pictures are from my dance class.


As the sun is setting sinking and melting into the ocean, I wonder if the dolphins gather and drink in the melting buttery drops dispersed into the vast salty horizon. Do they look forward to this time like I do? Do they bathe in the crimson glow. I think that the dolphins share my same feelings. They swim through the glowing plankton gearing themselves for play. Gliding through the dark waters as I long to swim through the night sky.

As I was resting my chin on leafy’s cushiony head singing Leafy is the sweetest boy in the whole entire world, he is the sweetest boy ever ever ever ,Leafy  looked up at me with his chocolaty puppy dog eyes and responded  to my song by saying “I have so much love in my heart”.

I am looking back over my 28th birthday and it was nice. If you could here my voice (or the voice in my head anyway) when I say nice, it would be a refreshing end of the day contemplative sort of nice. My birthday celebration started off last night with a little surprise party,because Kai wanted to be able to celebrate my birthday and he can’t today because he’s gone all day for surgery. Dear sweet boy, I would squeeze him to pieces if he would let me. So as I walked into Rae’s house last night on my way to the meditation I was greeted with little pajama clothed children shouting Happy birthday Renee!  And then I was truly surprised when the silence of our meditation time was broken up with clanging pot lids and flowers showered over me, and those same edible children bearing gifts of balloons with face drawings and Kai’s whispered instructions that I must tape the end of the string onto my window so the balloons could dangle down my wall.  

Today for my birthday I decided I would simply enjoy my day. I had my birthday cake for breakfast, giggled a bit with my new adorable roomates Kat and Jocilyn. Read a little bit , day dreamed a little bit, played a bit of my Mbira placed the flowers from last night in my windowsill and swung my legs as I dangled in my hammock chair, and that was basically the relaxed thread of the day. There was also dancing on the beach in the moonlight, tea and playing skip-bo with a 28 year old 18 year old 4 year old and three year old.                                                                                                                                                                                                         Now doesn’t that sound like a nice day?

I am trying to have some discipline in my life. I really want to develop my writing, and blogging is something that helps me. But I am still such a beginner. Sometimes as I start to write a post, I get ideas of what to write and a seed of inspiration grows, like a child learning to ride a bike, picking up speed then getting scared, wobbling all over the road, and then slamming on the brakes. I don’t know how to write all of my thoughts, and when the inspiration comes I don’t know what to do with it. I stop short, slam on the brakes. I guess it is just a process that grows with time and familiarity. The more you do something the better at it you get. The other day I prayed to God that he would make me a good writer, smiling to myself at the idea of such a prayer, hey God could you oh I don’t know, maybe make me like a good writer or something, and how about also if you give me some talent at singing, , maybe also you could make me a good painter and a musician too, thanks God that would be so cool if you could do that for me. That’s how silly I felt my prayer was, but he answered me with the simple truth that I need more discipline in my life, and so that is my goal, I won’t worry about my writing abilities or lack of, I am simply going to make it a priority in my life, I am going to write.

There are days when I have dark anxiety clouds over my head, raining thoughts of should and should nots, self doubts and guilt, soaking my hair with negativity and weighing my head down eyes to the ground, arms hanging limp, useless. Then there are days when God breaks through with the dawn, and the light of truth shines down on me and I am free. I am reminded that I have been free, that he who God has set free is free indeed, and I will dance on the beach with my head lifted to the light of the one who created me, arms towards to sky in rhythm and I will know that he is pleased.

For the mother who didn’t get the chance to see her baby girl grow, curl her to her breast, whisper lullabies into her ear, the joy of her life, the desire of her heart, now finally here. A joy no longer to be experienced by the mother whose life was lost.

For the infant, whose memories of a loving mother never began, were stolen away by tragedy, who will go through life with questions unanswered, longings unfulfilled.

For a lover left behind, arms aching to hold and protect, now only filled with an emptiness that breaks the strongest of men.

My prayer goes to this small family who live down the road. The wife died during childbirth, please pray for them as well.

Me: Do you like my new pants Leafy?

Leafy: No

Me:You don’t like them?

Leafy: you look bery pretty Benee

Me: Oh, thank you Leafy, you look very hansom

Leafy: No, I don’t look hansom

Me: Do you know what hansom means? It’s a complement, do you know what a complement is?

Leafy: Yes, you’re a bery good boy Leafy

I have been in my pink house for a few days now. Glorious, ( I have been useing that word a lot lately to desribe just about everyting) absolutely glorius. I love the energy of this place (Arombol is the name of the town), there are tons of hippies travelers, Russians, Isreali’s, people from everywhere. There are also tons of cows that rome the streets and the beach. I have a goal to befriend one cow so that it follows me everywhere and becomes my little buddy. That’s not asking to much is it? I even have an Indian boy here on the look out for a good cow friend for me. I haven’t had internet so now I am in an airconditioned little internet cafe along the main strip in arombol. The airconditoning is a wonderful comfort becuase we’re quite a walk from “town” or should I say strip. Me and Cate bought bikes after all (not the pink bike) but it’s only one speed so unless I am actually going downhill it takes a lot of work.  All the locals smile at us, because they’re not used to seeing foreigners  with bicycles, one guy reached out today and rang my bike bell. The cool foreigners maybe think we aren’t so cool though. Today a Russian guy drove buy Cate staring at her bike and she smiled and said “are you jealous of my bike” his lips quivered with disgust as he said “absolutely not” reved his motorcycle engine and drove away. I absolutely love Cate for that. Hilarious.